Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
