Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
