Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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