Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
The uberlube is also flammable
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
