Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i just wanna soil my oats bro
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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