my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
Randomize
