I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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