from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
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