She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
