I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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