I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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