i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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