Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
this will be a night to untag.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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