i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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