im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
That's when you crack a 10am beer
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
