Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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