You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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