You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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