He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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