i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
