I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Randomize
