FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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