Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
