nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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