I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Randomize