when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
