I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize