Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
