You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
