apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
