i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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