it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
