I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
