What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
