Michael Bay diarrhea
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Randomize
