You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
