I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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