oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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