he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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