Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
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