3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
