maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
