Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
