i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Randomize
