i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
