ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
