you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He did a backflip because drugs
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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