So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
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I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
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I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize