Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
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