fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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