The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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