K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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