I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
