you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
