so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
