Dual....:-)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
