If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
They took my balls.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Randomize
