Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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