Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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