There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
