I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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