Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
