and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
