I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
