thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
